Verbal Discharge

#80: E.T.: The Capable of Flight Big Paul

A heart-warming classic about friendship and trust, loved by generations and considered iconic the world over, Verbal Discharge returns at last for another podcast!

It's been a while since we last did a normal episode, so we hope you didn't miss us too badly. This week, Robbie predicts the events of E.T., James tries to help YOU with YOUR New Year's Resolution, and Ben builds a robot that can churn out works of beautiful literature. All this and more on our last show before the Trumpocalypse!

#79 Pt3: The Year in Bigdad's Festive Dog Seances

All good things must come to an end. And so must all things that started out OK but have really been dragged out for too long now.

Join Team Discharge as they explore the cavernous wonders of the podcasts put out between late-September and the end of the year! Alongside two (Count 'em!) live shows, the boys mark both Jordan and Ben's deaths, their subsequent revivals, the discovery of countless new characters and species, plus one interview that went ahead (Danny Howard) and one that didn't (Lethal Bizzle). It's all here on the podcast, alongside a heartfelt thank you to everyone who's helped us this last year. Listen. James almost cries. He doesn't, but maybe it might be different if you listen to it. You never know.

We'll be back properly next week!

#79 Pt2: The Year in Drunk Olympic Brexit Penises

Our review of 2016 continues, as we cross the boundary of Brexit, cover the Olympics, and seem to spend an awful lot of time talking about dicks...

It's the second of our frankly-too-long Best Of show, as we cover episodes 51 through to 64, which includes the point of no return that is Brexit, amongst other things. Witness Robbie having a breakdown in 46 seconds. Hear Ben's most foolhardy drunken tales. Listen as James speculates about willies over and over. And lend an ear to Jordan, as he invents a new country that definitely isn't Russia. It's the best of the best, here on and from Verbal Discharge.

#79 Pt1: The Year in Erotic Green Punk Duck Chancellors

It's that time of year again, the time when you think about the fact it's a year rather than simply accepting it. And, as such, Discharge is looking back on our last year in full, as we reflect on each podcast from 2016...

In the first of three parts, join us as we relive what has been a frankly busy year for Verbal Discharge. We present the best moments and out-of-context audio clips from episodes 36 to 50 of the podcast, which saw the introductions of Ducky McDuck, Grak and other lovable Verbal Discharge characters, we interview the leader of the Green Party,  personally victimise George Osborne and all kinds of other nonsense! Basically, it's better than a normal podcast because it's just the good bits. We've also got the Verbal Discharge team introducing their favourite bits, plus a supercut of us saying our favourite phrase of the year, "Keith Chegwin's Penis". Enjoy, and we'll see you in a few days time for Part Two!

#78: The True Meaning of Christmas

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! It's time for your gift from The Podcast Santa, as a new show from your favourite Derby-based comedy podcast not about squid lands in your delightful festive inbox...

This week, the Discharge team attempts to unravel the True Meaning of Christmas by traveling the globe, collecting and studying traditions from all over the world. James investigates Holland's perculirly racist traditions, Ben uncovers the violent mysteries of Australian Christmas, Robbie interviews a passing Frenchman about how he's spending his Noél, and Jordan gets stuck in Turkey without hope or wi-fi. All this and (admittedly only a tiny bit) more, on this week's festive Discharge podcast!

Merry Christmas, and send your mum our best!

#77: A Very Verbal Discharge Nativity LIVE

Away in a Maypole, no crib for his beer, the Little Lord Discharge lay down his sweet Christmas Show...

On Thursday, Verbal Discharge held our first Chirstmas live show at the Maypole Cafe-Bar & Theatre, with a full nativity play, with the Discharge team playing all the roles between them. It was a Brexxit-based goblin-filled spectacle as we forgot our lines, missed our cues and watched as our costumes unraveled on stage. And you''l be able to see all of that soon, but here, for this podcast, you can now witness the second half of the show, as we recorded a post-show podcast, live on stage! On this week's show, James sees a Christmasy penis, Jordan shows a Christmasy penis, Robbie quizzes us on the second coming, and Ben refuses to marry a primary schooler. All this and more, on our very special Nativity show podcast...

#76: Transmogrification and the Adventures of Bigdad

Gather one and all, as we tell you this yuletime of the many adventures of Bigfoot, the most feared of creatures, and Bigdad, the creature even Bigfoot feared...

It's a goddamn bona fide classic of an episode this week, as usual. On this week's show, Jordan writes a new work of genius, Ben speculates on the existence of a legendary beast and Robbie reads some letters and runs out of toilet roll. All this and more, on a podcast so good we're going to abandon the format next week because we can't top it and do a Nativity play instead!

Our Christmas live show is next Thursday, the 15th December, at The Maypole Café-Bar & Theatre, 7:30PM doors for an 8PM start. Please come along, it's going to be a thrilling evening of thrills and Christmasy nativity nonsense.

#75: In Memory of Jordan D.L. Reynolds (1992-2016)

Just eight minutes before we were due to record, Jordan tragically passed away. The following podcast is exclusively comprised of live coverage from his funeral. Join us, as we look back on the life, times, crimes and misdemeanors of Jordan Daniel Leonard Reynolds.

This week, Robbie, James, a belligerent vicar, some French guy, Michael Caine and a cow from a nearby field deliver their eulogies and tributes to Jordan, the choir serenades his memory with a rendition of Jordan's favourite song, and a freak storm brings an alarming surprise... This is the Funeral of Jordan Reynolds. Please stand by, and prepare the handkerchief.

#74: Officially Better than Kevin Smith

We apologise for the fact so much of this week's podcast sounds like it was recorded on a potato. There's a section in the middle where the audio's fine. Please don't be put off. We worked hard on it. You're going to make us cry now.

On this week's show, we welcome aboard the man who claims to be Discharge's biggest fan, and he goads us into finally unveiling something we have been long-since banned from mentioning. James shows us a little bit too much, Ben has an awful job interview, Robbie briefly brings back a much-loved comedy character and Jordan gets his own simulator. All this and more, in a podcast you can just about make out the words in.

#73: At Bizzlefest 2k16!

Every year, thousands gather to celebrate the world's greatest and most popular man, Lethal Bizzle. And this year, Verbal Discharge has exclusive rights to cover it...

Seeing as there's no major stories in the news, this week Discharge takes a step aside to cover a brand new festival dedicated to world-class grime artist Lethal Bizzle, as Robbie and James report live from backstage at a Lethal Bizzle gig! There's also a lovely little compilation of others things we've said and done that you've never heard before, including extensive discussion of Chris Tarrant's penis! You might as well listen, it's the shortest show we've ever done.

#72: Make Nottingham Great Again LIVE

On November 7th 2016, Verbal Discharge set out to Make Nottingham Great Again with another live show, this time from the Malt Cross, in Nottingham's city centre.

It's our US Election special, from a room near a flooded cave in Nottingham! On this week's show, we have Trump-themed music by our special guest, the Midlands' finest wielder of a ukulele, Edi Johnston! We then have two hours of tremendous satire, just excellent satire, many people have said that it really is the best satire, it made people laugh bigly, it is tremendous satire on the US election. James investigates a web of lies, Robbie plays a game of Pin the Tale on the Donald, Jordan stands for election and Ben uncovers a grand conspiracy. Enjoy it, considering the way the election's looking, it might be your last chance.

This podcast is going up a matter of hours before polls close on the 2016 election, and was recorded before a live audience 24 hours before they opened, so we have to stress everything was fine and not doomed at the time of recording & release. If you're listening after the result is announced, chances are that's changed.

You can listen in the player above, on your preferred podcast app (Probably iTunes, let's be honest), or by right-clicking here to download.

#71: Dog Killer Johnson Vs The World

He's there. Over your shoulder. Lurking. Waiting. Ready to pounce at any moment. You can't see him, but he lives in your shadow. Watch out. These are your last moments. So use them wisely and listen to this week's Verbal Discharge podcast.

This week! On the podcast! What happens? This happens: Jordan speculates on Middle Earth fetishes, James analyses a stranger danger video from 1980 and Robbie is in a mystery location. All this, and a decision as to whether or not Stranger Things was any good or not. We'd say we give a pretty definitive answer...

[btw gang our US election live show is on monday. just letting you know. please come. malt cross. nottingham. 7pm. ok cool see you there.]

#70: In Memory of Benjamin David Knight (1993-2016)

Welcome to the spookiest podcast of the year, where spooky songs are sung and dead spooky podcast hosts are channeled through living spooky podcast hosts...

That's right, folks, it's almost Halloween, so time for us to do a vaguely Halloween-themed episode again! On this week's show, Jordan becomes a spirit medium, James freestyles some Halloween raps, and Robbie writers six new episodes of Black Mirror. It's a podcast that, in thousands of years time, is going to have people still talking, and wishing something else from twenty-first century culture had survived.

#69: The Large Boom Hypothesis - A Gradual Maddening

Earlier this week, we posted a seemingly-innocent poll. It asked which critically-panned sitcom should we try to marathon, and record our slow descent into madness? Well, The Big Bang Theory was the run-away winner, and the descent was anything but slow.

Listen in as James, Jordan, Robbie and Ben tear the show atom from atom! Continue listening as they begin to lose their minds and grow to resent everything in the world! Think about hitting pause and never coming back just in case one of them reaches tears! But who will take it best? Through how many episodes will they make it? Or will any of them actually come round and start to enjoy one of the most popular sitcoms on the face of the planet?

#68: Aladdin Caine

My name is Discharge. Funny name for an English podcast, I know. My hosts to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. The plane is a metaphor for our experience recording this week's podcast.

When you wish upon a podcast, you get a podcast. Like this week's podcast. This week, we dissect the theme of wishes, of wanting, of hoping, of dreaming. On the show, Ben wishes for superpowers, Jordan becomes a small shouty black man, Robbie unveils the theme tune to the live-action Aladdin and James brings out an old impression. It's some podcast this week.

Sorry for the slightly underwhelming sound quality. And everything else.

#67: Get Shrekked, Michael Caine!

This week Team Discharge sets out to explore Youth, and the big questions that surround it: What is Youth, where does Youth go, how do you experience Youth, and what happened in the film Youth starring Michael Caine?

An entire podcast all about the idea of youth, and how it slips between your fingers. Amongst recounting our yonderdays, James dips into his shallow bag of impressions, Jordan is terrified of a TV, and Robbie steals from a school. What a show your ears have ahead of you...

#66: Going to the Boring French Pudding Bollock

normal guys normal podcast

Oh my good lord, they've let them do another podcast. And look what they've done as a result. Jordan argues the case for biros in the world's most captivatingly dull debate, Robbie tries to write a sequel to Charlie Bit My Finger, and James has some, shall we say, interesting genitals. And far more, obviously. Only a show with far more would generate this week's podcast art.

#65: With Danny Howard and 2 Crude Ducks!

I am a DJ, I am what I play. Can't turn around now, can't turn around. I am a DJ, I am what I play, and what I play is mostly this week's new Verbal Discharge podcast.

After last week's spectacular, bumper-length sold-out live show, did you think we'd rest on our laurels? Yeah, so did we. But, alas, Discharge is back, and with a very special guest to boot. This week, we're joined by Radio One presenter and one of the country's top DJs, Danny Howard, who talks getting started as a DJ, his iTunes collection and some Nickelodeon classics. Elsewhere on this week's show, Ben smuggles two rubber ducks into the studio, Jordan considers moving to Italy, Robbie tries to remember what's happened recently and James writes Neil Gaiman's new book for him.

The interview with Danny Howard starts at around 7 minutes.

#64: Verbal Discharge's One Night Degree LIVE

On Thursday 15th September, you rallied in your hoards to The Maypole Cafe-Bar & Theatre to enroll in the University of Verbal Discharge. And now, we present, our second live show, in podcast form, for your listening pleasure.

Listen back as we attempt to give you the fullest-possible University experience over the course of two hours, covering Fresher's Week, lectures, running our of money, running out of food, graduation and more besides. This week, James gives us a comprehensive history of fashion, Robbie develops a worrying tic as he teaches us the secrets to success is business, Ben find what's really inside the brain, and Jordan finds nothing inside a sport science student's brain. All this and much, much more (It's our longest-ever episode, so we mean it for once).

There are numerous points of the evening in which the audio you can hear was supported by visuals, and one point in particular where a huge laugh comes from a face one of the team pulls. The podcast is obviously not the best way to experience this week's show. That would have been to come down, last Thursday, and see it live. The video version shall be up in the next week too.

#63: Little Welsh Riding Hood

Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Verbal Discharge, there lived a little podcast...

Looks like a little podcast squeezed out of us, no need to look away, it's a perfectly natural process. This week, Robbie tests us on our Welsh, James becomes a frail old lady and Ben speculates over more celebrity deaths. Well, if that doesn't sound like the best show ever, I don't know what does...