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The world's third-to-best podcast not about squid. Vaguely satirical British comedy nonsense.
Episodes
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015
1hr 3 min
The endless void. It comes towards you, threatening to
swallow you up. It looks you in the eye, and your life flashes before
you. This is it, you think, gripping your mind with all you
have. The void grows, and it swallows. Soon there is nothing, but you,
and the new Verbal Discharge podcast left in the universe. And the void
stops. And you realise it wasn't evil all along: it has given you the
only thing you need to be happy.
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015
1hr 4 min
Oh me, oh my, oh joyous day! Oh, once more, oh what glory is
sent upon us! It is another Verbal Discharge day, another prime chance
for me to cleanse my sins, to listen to a podcast so good, so great and
so holy that if I listen to it enough times, The Lord may just forget
about the seven murders I committed in 1969, including popular actress
Sharon Tate!
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 25, 2015
1hr 9 min
Most stars take millions of years to die. When a star like the Sun has burned all of its hydrogen fuel, it expands to become a red giant. This may be millions of kilometres across - big enough to swallow the planets Mercury and Venus. This is almost as big a deal as a new episode of Verbal Discharge.
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015
1hr 36 sec
Time. It passes slowly, like a footballing snail. And yet, pass it does. For after months of worthless, heavy, dull time, the good times are here again: That's right, the one thing that gave you the motivation to continue drifting through the abyss of time is back! It's the return of the Verbal Discharge podcast!
Yes! Back at last! The Verbal Discharge team are reunited, purely for your listening pleasure and not because they get on or are actually friends or anything! This week, James creates the definitive list of what is offensive, Jordan tells us of dead cat toys and Robbie does something that almost sounds like a quiz. Yes, it's good to be back...
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 24, 2015
43 min
There's an old joke: Three young men are in a radio studio when one says "Boy, the show right here really has won an award" and the other says "I know, and in a small portion this week". Well, that's essentially how I feel about life.
Yes, there's some Discharge this week. James rings Ben, Jordan speaks to Robbie, Robbie acknowledges James and Ben is on a bus. Topics of conversation? Well, the title is a hint. We're all very tired, very award-winning, very referring to a Mars expedition and very into- Wait. Let's leave it there. Just... listen to it.
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 17, 2015
57 min
Shall I compare thee to a summer's Discharge? Thou art more xenophobic and more full of bits where someone pretends to be a rough bloke called Amanda...
Yes, that's right, Discharge is back for another fun-packed show! This week, Jordan gets burgled, James heads down t'pit and Robbie watches a man snort coke off a bin. Unfortunately not live. Could you imagine what a show that would have been? This is the next best thing.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015
53 min
It's Friday, we're in the Verbal Discharge studio, it's an non-descript time, we've also forgotten how the Saturday Night Live intro actually sounds... It's FRIIIIDAY NON-DESCRIPT TIME LIIIIIIIIIIVE!!
Which is our way of saying this week's show was recorded a couple of weeks ago, so the on-the-nose, zeitgeist-bating cultural references we are so known for making will be a few weeks off. Umm, sorry, we think. Anyway, this week you can hear Jordan and James try to seduce Adolf Hitler, a rap about pasties by our lord and master David Cameron, a threat to the world's authorities and all the general debauchery. Stick it in your lugholes.
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015
1hr 24 sec
Hey. You. Yeah, you. With the face. We know what you're doing. Leave the poor lass alone and come stick this in your ears. There's a good boy. Nobody likes a show-off.
That said, this week's show is so very great that you may just feel obligated to listen, rather than the usual measly compulsion. This week, Jordan takes on Animal Crossing's answer to capitalism, Tom Nook himself, Robbie puts forward his Top Gear audition tape and James provides the children's sex advice agony aunt service all our listeners so desperately wanted to hear. Let the words flow through your ears, and we'll see you again next week...
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015
1hr 12 sec
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to listen to
Discharge. To me, listening to Discharge was better than listening to
This American Life. Even before I wandered into the iTunes charts for an
after-school podcast, I knew I wanted to listen to them. It was there
that I knew I belonged.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015
1hr 12 min
Who's that girl? Who's that girl? When you see her, say a prayer and kiss your heart goodbye. She's trouble, in a word getting closer to the fire. She's also a podcast, not a girl. You should put your glasses on, mate. Take a closer look. What made you think that was a girl? It's quite obviously an audio file.
On this week's Verbal Discharge, Robbie covers Pocketful of Sunshine, James writes to George Clooney and Jordan makes the original observation that HP Lovecraft was really rather racist.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015
50 min
In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me a
podcast that I’ve been playing over on my iPod ever since. “Whenever you
feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the
people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had. They,"
He would say "Have not listened to the latest episode of Verbal
Discharge."
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015
1hr 15 min
Get out the way, dad! It's time for Verbal Discharge! You do
know what that is! I talk about it all the time! It's that podcast thing
with the- Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they did talk about Bill Oddie's
penis last week. Yeah, but it's more than that. No, honestly, it is,
dad. It is. I know that. I'm sorry. I'll do it now.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015
1hr 10 min
This Friday: Goats, erotica, the KKK and a game show. It's
either ITV's coverage of the apocalypse or it's Verbal Discharge.
Thankfully for mankind, it's the latter. BBC has exclusivity on
rapturous events.
On this week's show, Jordan ponders
Bill Oddie and game shows, James presents tales of old ladies and
wedding ladies and Robbie prattles on about doughnuts and barnyard
animals. Oh, and we also exclusively reveal what happens on episode 780
of Verbal Discharge, howmanyever years early.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015
48 min
Guess who's back? Aside from the Ghost of JFK. He doesn't count. It's us! Verbal Discharge is back for more wittering for your listening!
On this week's show, James reveals the legend of the Worm Burglar, Robbie recounts a trip to Chester Zoo and Jordan's also there. In fact, if you went to school with him, there's a fair chance your name will come up on this week's show. Especially if you taught him Biology and are French. Which accounts for most of our listener base.
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014
59 min
Do you like tangential ramblings, done with the pretense of celebrating a major holiday? Well, you might want to simplify your dating profile, mate. No wonder you're not having much luck. You should also maybe listen to this week's Verbal Discharge whilst you're at it. That's pretty much what's going on this week.
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014
1hr 17 min
Ho, ho and, indeed, ho. It's the Verbal Discharge Christmas
Special, as we wrap ourselves up in tinsel and parade ourselves around
your lugholes. Take this how you will, but the greatest gift you'll be
getting this year is this, as we gather the whole Discharge troupe for a
festive hour-and-a-bit of broadcasting.
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014
1hr 21 min
What's that? Oh gee, oh my, it's time for another edition of the thing they call Verbal Discharge. The regular contingent are here to guide you through a show comprising of lots of words and soundbites and things of that ilk.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014
46 min
What's that? Friday's show was an unrecorded, unbroadcast disaster? Well we're not letting you off the hook that easily! It's time for some bonus Discharge, as part of our studio overlords charity event, with a bonus disclaimer! Honestly, we're all about the bonuses this week. Even bonus guests from the station, who shout over each other. Bonus bonus bonus.
On this week's show, we discuss human platypi, stretched beetles and zombie horses, all from the comfort of a terribly echoy live venue! Listen and enjoy. Please.
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014
1hr 13 min
Further Discharge abound this week as your regular human voices James and Robbie are joined by another human voice, this one going by the name of Martin. And then another special guest, only this one isn't so much a human voice and more of a December edition of Tractors & Machinery Monthly.
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014
58 min
If two's company, three's a crowd, and four's Verbal
Discharge, then what's Verbal Discharge with only two members? It's the
show that tries it's hardest to get itself kicked off air, that's what.
Listen
in as James and Robbie contemplate and, indeed, confess to, murdering
children, Hollywood stars and native Americans in a never-ending hunt
for glory. Other less morbid topics of discussion involve stripey socks,
Harvey Keitel and brick tiling. Thrilling, we know.