Verbal Discharge

EPISODE #42: No Country For Osama Men

Does the podcast form make you uncomfortable, Mr Lebowski? Our podcasts have been described as strongly comedic. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Comedy. They don't like hearing it and yet, without batting an eyelid, a man will refer to his drama, his biopic, or his thriller.

It's Friday, so it must be time for a new Verbal Discharge podcast. This week, Robbie convinces a woman he's won four Oscars, James tries to sell taglines for the Oscars, Ben has watched Spy Kids and Jordan is confused by Osama Bin Laden. It's worth listening to. It's kinda chaotic, occasionally morally dubious, but we'd like to think that makes for a good podcast.

EPISODE #41: Isolated School Incident Stories

The title is clever because it sums up what we talk about, whilst spelling out ISIS, which we also talk about. Yes, there's some redundant words in there, and it doesn't quite work on it's own, but hey. We're being clever. So come back when you've done something even more clever, like invent the lightbulb. Oh wait, Thomas Edison beat you to it. Looks like there really is no worth in you after all.

What? You want more Discharge? After the last forty weeks? Fine, well more Discharge you're getting. This week, Robbie, James and Jordan all recount their definitive secondary school experience, from crying in French class to punching a kid in the face. Plus! We talk about ISIS and feathers, because pfftttt why not. It's our show, don't you know.

EPISODE #40: Burglar Bill and the Bottom of the Barrel

In the town where I was born, there lived a man who made a podcast, and he told us of his life, in the domain of Grek, your new scuttling goblin president.

Another week, another Discharge. This week, Ben, Robbie and Jordan disappear and, through uncanny means, become a number of incredible characters, from Grek, a goblin running for president, to Donald Trump, a goblin running for president. Particular fans of nonsense, please, hit that play button.

EPISODE #39: With Natalie Bennett!

The Green Party of England and Wales were formed in 1990. They won their first parliamentary seat in 2010. They hit record election figures in 2015, receiving 1.1 million votes. But, in 2o16, they entered he big leagues. In 2016, Green sent their party leader, Natalie Bennett, to appear on Verbal Discharge...

We've made thirty-eight episodes before now, and they've mostly been nonsense. This week that's probably especially true, but in the middle of it all we were honestly, really joined by the leader of Green Party, Natalie Bennett. She genuinely came on the show, and we quizzed her in typical Discharge fashion: Children's TV, flop-haired troglodytes, even a certain chancellor's particular recreational habits. This is probably the only time you'll ever hear an adult man try to goad a national party leader into doing a Daffy Duck impression. If that's not reason enough to listen, surely nothing is...

We do have a few other things going on this week (Academies! Rap battles! Basketball! Jordan's remarkable Nigel Farage impression!), but I think you'll forgive us for being focused on the green, green guest of home.

EPISODE #38: Keith Chegwin's Surprisingly Awesome Robot Penis

We really hope you came across this podcast accidentally because you searched iTunes for 'Keith Chegwin's Robot Penis'. If you're here because you like the show and listen to it every week, that's good too, but if you're the kind of person who looks for songs about Chegger's cyber-cock, we like you, and want to be your friend. Possibly even your husband, depending on how you feel about socks in bed.

Another week, another Discharge. This week, we make a very exciting announcement about next week's show! And then do some stuff on this week's show, too, obviously. Namely, Robbie tells every single joke from Michael Bay's 13 Hours, Jordan reacts to reaction videos, and James tries to get Ant & Dec's Live Fly Tipping back on air. Forget it, James. It's never going to happen.

EPISODE #37: Totally McDuck!

Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, accept this podcast as a gift on my daughter's wedding day. It's got a bit in it where two fully grown men have a spontaneous rap battle over their favourite member of Totally Spies! and everything. You'll love it. In fact, just have it. Have it for free. Click play. No, really, do it. This is an offer you can't refuse.

Discharge again! This week, Robbie and Ben fight over Totally Spies!, James and Ben are Jordan, and Robbie and James face off in a children's TV version of the Helmand Province. Plus! The return of Alana The Pokehuman, closure on the hospital story from last week and a moment in which Ben almost tells us more than we really needed to know.

EPISODE #36: George Osborne is a Cocaine Enthusiast.

I'm not sure why you continue to question it. It's in the title of a podcast now. George Osborne, the UK's chancellor of the executor, is a cocaine fiend. Just look at him, for crying out loud. Never has something been so obvious. Anyway, here's a podcast, full of the usual baseless accusations/truth.

Interested in any particular lies/well-thought out segments? Well, to give you the obligatory run-down, Jordan has some suggestions for George Osborne, James investigates the death of Alexander Litvinenko and Robbie tells us of his trip to the hospital. Oh, and George snorts loads of charlie. It's all ready to enter your ears...

EPISODE #35: Bowie & Badger's Bustop Bantz

Let me show you how it works. First, you press play on the player. This readout tells you how much longer you have to go, this one tells you where you are, this one tells you where you were. You input comments on this keypad. Say, you wanna hear James on a bouncy castle, or witness the birth of Discharge. Here's a red-letter date in the history of science, November 5th 1955. Yes, of course, November 5, 1955...That was the day I invented this episode of Verbal Discharge.

Wow Doc! Another episode of Verbal Discharge! This week, the Discharge crew reassembles purely to sit around and reminisce, like village elders, or the Welsh. What are our topics this week? James striding into a bar in his pyjamas. Jordan being left for dead in an Olympic swimming pool. Robbie causing a girl to have a minor breakdown. Ben's world-class David Bowie impression. Proof all these things actually happened is in this week's podcast...

EPISODE #34: The Year in Discharge

Should old acquaintance be forgot, you can just listen to this week's podcast. The flames of love extinguished and fully past and gone, you can just listen to this week's podcast. That thou cans't never once reflect, in this week's podcast.

This week, we take a look back at the Best of Discharge this year just gone, as we reflect on EVERY SINGLE SHOW (In brief) and have clips from EVERY SINGLE SHOW (In brief) as the Discharge team talk (In brief) about EVERY SINGLE SHOW we've done this year just gone, and present our favourite moments, the things that stand out, and amusing moments Robbie came across whilst he was editing it. Don't go thinking this is just a clip show. It's so much more than that. It's so much more exciting than that. It's got a Supercut of James saying Jason Momoa over and over again, for one. If that's not cause to listen, surely nothing is.

EPISODE #33: A Very Discharge Christmas 2: The Great Paul Walker Massacre

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, everyone was listening to Verbal Discharge, even the mouse, who really didn't get the references to late-'90s/early-'00s children's television.

Ho ho ho! It's that time of year again! Another Verbal Discharge Christmas Special charges, reindeer propelled, into your ears. This year, Emily Blunt, Sigmund Freud and Tina Fey's mum pull crackers, Discharge writes the next great Christmas movie and we eat Paul Walker's charred remains, all whilst spreading the festive cheer. Tis, as the old song goes, the season to listen to award-winning comedy podcasts from Derby, after all.

EPISODE #32: Britain First, Common Sense Second

Last Saturday, the UK's top hatemongers, Britain First, aggressively gatecrashed a peaceful protest in the East Midlands town of Derby. Spewing racism and bigotry everywhere they went, Verbal Discharge was there to record the whole thing. And now, your honour, we present the evidence.

Yes, in the podcast this week we tear into the activities of aggressive spud-men and bean-women Britain First, with aid of an exclusive recording. Robbie and Ben were there, and have some things to say, while Jordan has written some fanfiction. I suppose we can't all be up to exciting things all of the time.

EPISODE #31: David Cameron Ruins Fanfiction

Please do not judge thou by the actions made in life, but in Discharge. Do not select thous sins based on his life, but on his Discharge. And do not Discharge on thou's actions, but on his podcast. Thou should listen to this podcast, basically.

And do not blame thou for having to cut twenty-plus minutes out of the podcast because technical difficulties plagued the live show. But hey! It's another week, another show, and our last live show before Christmas before we switch to solely podcast form. This week, Robbie arranges dinner with David Cameron, Ben continues the journey of Alana the Pokehuman, Jordan takes a spelling test and James receives a sinister phone call. All in a week's Discharge.

EPISODE #30: Definitely Not About Syria

Something happened in the world this week. Something important, that Verbal Discharge feels strongly about. Something we've been told we can't talk about. So we're not going to talk about it. Oh boy, you won't believe how much not-talking about it we do.

Yes, as we gently brush the trunk of the elephant in the room, another podcast comes into being. This week, James is angry about Syria, Jordan is angry about Syria, Robbie is angry about not-Syria and Ben is bemused by Shadow the Hedgehog.

EPISODE #29: Rowdy Whales For Your Home

"This is my simple religion." once preached the Dalai Lama. "There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is Discharge."

And this week we have another Discharge for you, exploding from the bowels of nowhere. This week, James makes us sad, Jordan makes us rowdy and Robbie makes us play parlour games. It's another podcast from your best friends. We are your best friends. You love us. So listen to our podcast.

EPISODE #28: Comedians, Bricks and Jason Momoas with Attitude

Discharge ahoy! The winds pick up, the storm sthreatens to blow the HMS Discharge off course, but, alas, through some expert sailsmanship, another podcast-ship pulls into the iTunes-harbour, and the content-crew prepare to disembark for home (Your ears).

Yes, we're back, etc, let's ignore that metaphor, and tell you that this week Robbie lists the 36 things he knows about gangster rappers, James provides some top tourism tips and Jordan prepares the noose for some well-know and well-loved comedians. It's... Shipshape. And better than this stupid ship joke thing. So much better. Ignore this. Just listen to it.

EPISODE #27: Debate, Wait and Masturbate

Madonna, the world's leading businesswoman and actress, once said "A lot of people are afraid of what they want. That's why they don't get what they want." But there's no need for you to be frightened of another episode of the Verbal Discharge podcast!

Verbal Discharge springs back into life for yet another week of nonsense, nonsense and more nonsense. The only thing that makes sense is you listening to it. This week, Ben changes identity, James is angry with a postman, Jordan embraces the world of debate, and Robbie discovers the Wild Thornberry's episode that never was. If that doesn't sound like the best thing you've ever listened to, then we're clearly underselling it.

EPISODE #26: Karl Marx's Rusty Bullethole

Remember, remember, the first podcast of November! The gunpowder trio and show; I know of no reason, why this Discharge podcast should ever be forgot! Or at least not listened to immediately by your good self!

It's another podcast, and this time the live show went out on the Fifth November, meaning that we mention fireworks. It's fine, you can pretend it's still bonfire night. This week? What happens this week? James gets sexy with some slugs, Robbie tests us on the world of popular culture, and Jordan is a little tub of bum cream. It's all yours to listen to now...

EPISODE #25: Mega Wasp Vs Whale Storm

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that Verbal Discharge, for lack of a better word, is good. Discharge is right, Discharge works. Discharge clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Discharge, in all of its forms; Discharge for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And Discharge, you mark my words, will not only entertain your ears for the next hour-and-a-bit, but that every orifice covering your body.

What ho, it's Discharge time again. Yes, as that comedically quirky old-timey man just said, there's another new podcast for you right here. This week, Jordan runs a whale-based game of Dungeons & Dragons, Robbie delves into the legend of The Halloween Man, and James offers every member of the population a gallon of bleach. Oh, and there's an issue with Jordan's microphone, but we weren't gonig to mention that. Whoops. Just ignore it. Just get over it. It'll all be OK.

EPISODE #24: From Out of a Scout's Microwaveable Noodle Bowl

It was in October, 2015, and the speaker was the well-known Jamesette Bossonivich, maid of honor and favorite from the Verbal Discharge podcast. With these words she greeted Prince Jordan Reynoldsosky, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Jamesette Bossonivich had been laughing for some days. She was, as she said, listening to Verbal Discharge; Discharge being then a new podcast in St. Petersburg, listened to only by the elite.

War, peace, and everything in between (Which is everything), that's just a small taster of what's coming up on the latest Verbal Discharge podcast. This week, James sets up a murder mystery, Robbie orders a pizza and Jordan sings about Daniel Craig blowing a raspberry. All that's needed now is for you to hit 'Play' and sink back into the pot of glory that is Episode #24...

EPISODE #23: Muscley Garden Faecese

Life, as top-class Jamaican songman Bob Marley once preached, is one big road with lots of signs. So when you’re riding in the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Free yourself from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision into reality. Wake up and listen to the new Verbal Discharge podcast!

It’s a podcast in nothing other than the fact it’s a podcast this week, as Verbal Discharge returned to the airwaves, with a glorious live show on Phantom Radio, everyone’s favourite spooky Derby radio station. However, as you’d hope and expect, the podcast fairies have cut the musicy nonsense and distilled the Discharge down to another fantastic on-demand ear-shot! This week, Robbie takes us to a magical garden centre, Jordan spreads poo on the walls, Ben berates a bloke and James celebrates the best film ever. Yes, this is a description that makes you want to press the play button above…